3 years ago I learned the true meaning of the word " bittersweet".
November 26, 2007- we moved into our newly built home.
November 28, 2007- Big G's 3rd birthday party in our new home
December 2007- My 23rd birthday and college graduation.
January 2008-I took a substitute teaching position
Febuary 2008- Got hired for the job.
During all of this wonderful craziness, I ignored the obvious and persistant bleeding I was experiencing everytime I used the restroom. When life slowed down a bit ( end of Feb), I made an appointment with my family doctor. He referred me to a specialist who recommended I have a colonoscopy. On March 3, my family wished me well as I went back for the procedure assuming I would be told I had ulcers or maybe IBS.
On March 6, my husband, parents, and oldest sister took me back to the doctor for the results. As soon as the doctor walked in, he stated that he had carried around my chart all day wondering how to tell me I had a 2.5 cm tumor in my lower colon.
I don't really remember how my family handled the news that day, but I do remember they wouldn't leave the house when we returned. The 30 minute drive home was horrible. The only thing I remember is the intense desire to hold my baby boy. When we got home, he rushed into my arms just as he did everyday. That hug felt so good. Sweet innocense and love all wrapped up in my arms. It felt like everything was perfectly fine at that point.
However, it only took a few seconds for the bitter to wash over me. It hurt beyond belief to even think about this little boy not having a mommy. I was ANGRY more than I was scared. I was so mad that he was going to have to deal with this.
The emotions I felt during that hug seemed like they are burned into my heart. I think about that hug ALOT.
I won't go into detail about my treatment, but I will tell you that I kicked cancer in the butt ( haha ) and I am now three years cancer free!
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